The One With The Calling

Two years ago, I was approached by the Women’s Pastor at my church to consider being on the Women’s Ministry Leadership Team. It was an honor to be considered, but it was also at a time in my life where I really started to crave the voice of God. So I asked for some time to pray about it, and she encouraged me to do so.

Fast forward to my time with God, the call was obvious… annoyingly obvious. The holidays have a special place for us singles. A constant reminder of holiday work parties with your plus one (and taking your sister instead of an actual date- love you sissy), family gatherings with the questions of “when is it your turn”, but my all-time least favorite reminder are the “engagement season” reminders. All of this for a different time.

In the midst of a holiday season, asking God what my call is, and my relationship status, all added up to one thing: the call to reach all the single ladies. But different than Beyonce’s “Single Ladies” call, when a bride throws her bouquet, like she’s crossed the finish line of life, because if I hear that song one more time at a wedding, I may boycott weddings all together, including my own (Lord willing). Love you Bey.

Back to the point: the call to reach the single ladies. I knew without a doubt this was my call. I spoke with the Women’s Pastor and flat out told her I didn’t want to become “that girl”. The single one, the one that reaches the other single ones, the one who is “so awesome why is she still single”, and the one that ministers alone. Yuck, what a lie. She was so excited to have me on the team, less excited about my hesitations, and agreed to walk with me as I sorted out this calling.

Y’all, months went by, and I still never really felt like I found my niche. Discipleship, mentoring, missions. None of these really fit.

Enter prayer. My life has drastically changed in the recent years because of prayer. I mean it has always been a passion of mine. I remember praying for my family to know Jesus minutes after I said my own prayer of salvation. The silent prayer of one who is lost, and desperately crying for help. Praying for God to intervene. More prayers for my family. Prayer Training 101- a class I took and was dumb founded at the access I was given to God, and was not taking advantage of it. Prayer in Real Life- having mentors that rely on this access on a daily basis. Powerful Prayer- the one that breaks every chain. The prayers of healing- no more vascular abnormality, praise the Lord.

So prayer it was, on the Women’s Ministry Leadership team. Prayer also became my church wide service, and has been for the better part of these last two years. I have learned so much from this, but again more on this at a different time.

Enter the present: holidays upon us (all those feels as before), and a Bible study on the book of Nehemiah. More on Nehemiah at a later time. i.have.so.much.to.say. Kelly Minter, the author of this study, and who is also becoming one of my favorites, says,

“Do not forsake the truth that God has chosen you, loves you, and has set you apart for wonderful works in His Kingdom (See Col 3:12). Keep seeking Him for the ‘area of ministry’ He has assigned to you (2 Cor 10:13). You may not encounter angels, but you might be part of a wall going up in 52 days. I’m just thrilled with either.”

I quickly turned to both of these Bible references and it hit me like a literal ton of bricks- I about fell out of swivel chair at work. 2 Corinthians 10:13 says, “But we will not boast beyond limits, but will boast only with regard to the area of influence God assigned to us, to reach even to you.” And it all came rushing back to me, like Dory at the end of Finding Nemo, when all the pieces finally add up, and she remembered.

For the majority of the last two years I have been running from my singleness and I don’t even like running. I have done everything from “liking” an absurd amount of men on various online dating sites, to going out with these men on some awkward dates, and the uncomfortable-make-up-a-lie-to-get-out-of-this-dates, and the dates that never call you back. Let’s not forget about the here’s-my-number-call-me-maybe guys (that never call), and the aren’t-you-going-to-ask-for-my-number guys, and the guys that you just can’t form sentences in front of (these are the worst, and the best, all at the same time guys).

You guys (and girls). I’m exhausted. Running from singleness has become one of those things that society has taught me I need to run from, like running from a guy trying to sell you candy on the street, or from doughnuts. The only difference is that you actually need to run from these things.

And I should have had this call tattooed on my hand to remind me every.single.day. Because when God brought all the women in my life, I would have recognized the call. But like Dory, I am forgetful and it took a close fall out of my chair to get it. It sucks, but it makes sense why none of those guys worked out. God was asking for my whole heart to be invested in the call He had so graciously given.

Let me preach to the choir myself for a minute. Singleness is not bad. It is not a disease. It is not a delicious pastry filled with yummy cream that will make you gain 5 pounds. And it is my calling.

Gosh, I’m reminded and convicted of the many sermons I’ve heard recently (but went straight over my head until Dory happened a few minutes ago) on what if the thing we are praying away, running from, is the very thing that God wants to use to transform not only us (after reading this I’m sure you agree I need some Holy Spirit transformation), but also the world around us.

I do long and desire to do what God asks of me, even in the simple obedience of getting off that darn social media, but sometimes I find myself guilty- stuck on social media and praying away the things that God has asked me to be obedient in. Singleness is challenging. But so is marriage, just ask all my married friends. Obedience is challenging. I’m done running, and up for the challenge (enter emoji girl raising hand).

Jesus told us to abide in him. Abiding is pretty dang easy if you ask me. But choosing it, obeying the call, there’s the real challenge. What is He asking of you today? Is it to sit and listen to His voice? Is it a call to love? A call to be married? A call to start that business? Close that business? A call to raise your kids at home? A call to fight for your country, doing everything in your being to protect it, even if that means taking another’s life? A call to preach to the nations? A call to send others to preach to the nations? A call to sell everything and move to Africa to bring physical and spiritual healing to those that need it? A call to stay at your dead-end job because He wants you to reach the people there for Him? A call to finish school? Go back to school? What if God is calling your name for the first time, or the first time in a long time? Will you answer? What if your call is a step into holiness, even if you have to drastically change your drinking habits, your spending habits, your living habits? What if your call is to take another child (and her child) as your own? Is your call a time for grieving (there’s a time for that)? A time for celebrating (there’s a time for that too)? Is your call to move across the country to Florida, where it's mostly sunshine and rainbows (hint to all my friends not in Florida)?

Is your call the call of Singleness? Whether its just for now, or for a little longer.

What is the area of influence God assigned you?

I pray you pause long enough to actually hear, and you answer with a resounding yes; a yes, here I am send me.